The One You Feed - Learn Good Habits to Increase Mindfulness and Happiness and Decrease Anxiety and Depression

Jordan Harbinger The One you Feed

 

 

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This week we talk to Jordan Harbinger about the power of awareness and intention

Jordan Harbinger is the founder of The Art of Charm. The Art of Charm helps men to improve their social skills so that they can succeed in business and life. The truth is that I originally turned Jordan down twice to be on the show because I thought he was a "pick-up" artist. I clearly didn't think that was a good fit for our show. But as I learned more about him and what he does I realized that his focus is to help men become better people. The success follows from that. One of his core principles that he teaches is to leave everything and everyone better than before he was there. That's a pretty good way to feed the good wolf.
 
In addition his podcast has really excellent guests and he is a great interviewer.
 
I'm glad we had him on because it was a really good conversation.
 
 

 In This Interview Jordan and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • Being intentional in all aspects of life.
  • How if your not feeding the good wolf you might be feeding the bad wolf.
  • Not making a decision is a decision in itself.
  • How good our brains are at rationalizing things.
  • How systems can help in all aspects of our lives.
  • Being excellent is a matter of habit.
  • Being more aware of our choices.
  • How being too busy is the best excuse we have.
  • Try replacing "I don't have time" with "I'm not prioritizing that right now"
  • Feeding the good wolf is about being intentional.
  • How feeding the good wolf takes time and consistency.
  • Discipline is doing the right thing when it is hard.
  • Changing perspective.
  • How bad our mood is as a decision tool.
  • Doing what we planned, not what we feel like.
  • The pitfalls of comparing ourselves to others.
  • Comparing our insides to other peoples outsides.

Jordan Harbinger Links

The Art of Charm-Jordan Harbinger

Jordan Harbinger on Twitter

Art of Charm on Facebook

 

 

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Kino MacGregor

Strand of Oaks

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Direct download: JordanHarbingerFinal-2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm EDT

"A setback is not permission to abandon your plans" - Chris Brogan

 

Eric talks about handling setbacks and disappointments 

Direct download: mini_episode_setbacks_and_dissapointments.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:38pm EDT

Joel Zaslofsky- The One You Feed
 
 
Joel Zaslofsky is the founder of The Value of Simple website and podcast. He is an author, speaker, and curator. He the author of Experiencing Curating: How to Gain Focus, Increase Influence and Simplify You Life. He is the creator of The Continuos Creation Challenge and The Digital Launch Playbook.
 
 

 In This Interview Joel and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • Doing something selfless.
  • How we are all the same under it all.
  • The sacrifices of starting your own business.
  • Keeping your head up during hard times.
  • The value of rituals.
  • The power of gratitude.
  • Setting up systems to deal with a bad memory.
  • "Chaos was the law of nature, order is the dream of man".
  • The value of curation.
  • The Continuous Creation Challenge.
  • How the bad wolf feeds on passivity.
  • The power of momentum.
  • Focusing on the goals instead of the tools.
  • Doing what we planned, not what we feel like.

 

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Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:

Kino MacGregor

Strand of Oaks

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde

 

Direct download: JoelZaslofskyFinal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:22pm EDT

Kristoffer Carter- The One You Feed

 

 

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This week we talk to Kristoffer Carter about building an Epic Life

Kristoffer Carter ("kc") is a meditation expert for rapid growth start-ups, facilitator, & experience designer for Good Life Project, created by Jonathan Fields. By day, KC helps lead education & development for Centro's 90-person sales force, having built the company from $65MM & 50 employees to over $300MM & 550 in the last 7 years. Centro has been named the #1 Best Place to Work in Chicago by Crains Business for the last 4 consecutive years.
 
KC is also a Kriyaban yogi (Self Realization Fellowship), husband & Father of 3, marathoner, and multi-instrumentalist since childhood.

His manifesto on his framework for "Full Life Integration" can be found at http://www.thisepiclife.com/manifesto KC's free program to create a powerful meditation habit can be found here: http://www.thisepiclife.com/meditation

 In This Interview Kris and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • The power of discernment.
  • Right action- not all action is created equal.
  • His journey to becoming a yogi.
  • Kriya Yoga and The Autobiography of a Yogi.
  • Where personal development ends spiritual development begins.
  • His first experiences with meditation.
  • How hard meditation can be for some people.
  • Moving from the lizard brain to the human mind.
  • This Epic Life Manifesto.
  • What Non Negotiable's are and how to integrate them into your life.
  • How full life integration works.
  • How unused creative energy is not benign.
  • Being whoever you are wherever you are.
  • When it comes to your inner alignment there are no shortcuts.
  • Radical Self Inquiry and the value of a variety of personality surveys.
  • Bringing your whole self to your work.
  • Radical Authenticity.
  • Doing things that you are afraid of.
  • Discerning signals from static.

 

Kristoffer Carter Links

Kristoffer Carter- This Epic Life Homepage

Kristoffer Carter Twitter

Kristoffer Carter- This Epic Life- Facebook

Kristoffer Carter- You Tube

 

Personality Tests discussed on the show:

The Enneagram

Strengths Finder

Myers Briggs

 

 

 

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Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:

Kino MacGregor

Strand of Oaks

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Direct download: KrisCarterFinal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:30pm EDT

A brief preview from the upcoming 7 Habits of Highly Effective People course offered by The One You Feed

Direct download: Mini_Ep-_1st_part_of_7_Habits.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:23pm EDT

Christine Hassler left her successful job as a Hollywood agent at 25 to pursue a life she could be passionate about . . . but it did not come easily. After being inspired by her own unexpected challenges and experiences, she realized her journey was indeed her destination. In 2005, she wrote the first guidebook written exclusively for young women, entitled 20 Something 20 Everything. Christine’s second book, The 20 Something Manifesto written for men and women stems from her experience coaching twenty-something’s.  Her newest book Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love and Life is the guidebook for how to treat disappointment on the emotional, mental, behavioral and spiritual levels.

 In This Interview Christine and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • Her favorite books and authors.
  • How we don’t have control but we do have choice.
  • What an expectation hangover is.
  • The three things that cause expectation hangovers.
  • The three types of expectation hangovers.
  • The ways we try and cope with expectation hangovers that don’t work.
  • Learning to feel our emotions instead of trying to talk ourselves out of it.
  • The spiritual bypass.
  • That an untreated expectation hangover can lead to addiction.
  • Our overwhelming fear of emotions.
  • How unexpressed emotions can lead to other problems.
  • Suppression = depression.
  • Pendulum thinking.
  • How we tend to think our emotions instead of feeling them.
  • The difference between releasing and recycling feelings.
  • One of our favorite books-Pema Chodron- When Things Fall Apart.
  • Not indulging or repressing emotions.
  • The stories we tell ourselves about our emotions.
  • How the desire of our ego and the direction of our soul are often headed in different direction.
  • The four components of the Expectation Hangover treatment plan.
  • Role Playing Rx.
  • Her 21 years on anti-depressants.
  • Dealing with depression.
  • Feeling lonely in a group of people.
  • Form versus essence.
  • Thinking about how we want to feel.
  • How looking for things to make us happy is a losing strategy.
Direct download: ChristineHasslerFinal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:29pm EDT

 

Envy- The One You feed

 

This week Eric discusses Envy and Comparison

In Dante's Inferno the envious had their eyes sewn shut. In our day we have a lot of social media comparison.

We discuss some approaches to handling envy and comparison

 

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Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:

Kino MacGregor

Strand of Oaks

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde

Direct download: EnvyMiniEpisodeFinal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:13pm EDT

 

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya- The One You Feed

 

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I was lucky enough to catch Emiliya Zhivotovskaya near the end of Camp GLP and we were able to sit down in her small room on the floor, holding microphones and have this conversation. I think we were both very tired after a great weekend at camp. She had delivered numerous workshops, emceed the Talent Show and was feeling under the weather to boot. Nonetheless it was a wonderful and warm conversation. Enjoy!!

At the age of 5, Emiliya and her family fled from Kiev, escaping the fall of Communism and the nuclear disaster at Chernobyl. She found herself in a new land, faced with challenges completely foreign to the average kid growing up in a New York suburb. Then, 9 years later, she faced yet another tragedy, the sudden loss of her brother as he ran to save his fiancé from drowning and lost his life in the process of saving hers. And years later, the loss of her mother.

From this place of deep challenge, she could have turned to the dark side. She could have given up, blamed the world and walked away from joy. From happiness. From possibility. Instead, she found awakening, strength and a renewed sense of gratitude. She discovered within herself a wellspring of resilience and a relentless desire to understand where this came from and how to bring a similar lens to others. She was determined to help others flourish.

Her exploration quickly developed into a lifelong quest, leading her to study psychology at Long Island University, then get her masters degree in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania under the guidance of the legendary founder of the science, professor Martin Seligman. Graduating summa cum laude, she has gone on to found the Certification in Positive Psychology program at the Open Center and head up her own endeavor, The Flourishing Center. Emiliya is also currently pursuing her Ph.D. in Mind-Body Medicine at Saybrook University, where she is also on the graduate faculty. (Curriculum Vitae)

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya is widely acclaimed for her striking ability to share the transformative power of positive psychology, deliver actionable and specific strategies that yield tangible, measurable results. And share these ideas in a wonderfully engaging and entertaining way.

 In This Interview Emiliya and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • How both wolves are part of the human condition.
  • How to feed both wolves and integrate them.
  • Courage is not a lack of fear but having the ability to move through it.
  • The bad wolf is trying to protect us, it is part of our evolutionary programming.
  • What is positive psychology?
  • How both positive and negative emotions are useful.
  • The role of positive psychology in handling depression and anxiety.
  • Depression masquerading as loneliness.
  • Why there are not more depression support groups.
  • Depression as learned helplessness.
  • The criticality of exercise in handling depression (Want to be depressed? Don't exercise!)
  • The BDNF and Serotonin loop.
  • Taking micro-steps to build new habits.
  • The biological wiring of social comparison.
  • The role of gratitude in feeling better.
  • How gratitude shifts the brain into a more expansive state.
  • The small tweak that makes gratitude much more powerful.
  • How negative emotion and problem solving are not connected, they can be pulled apart.
  • That negative emotions make problem solving worse and narrows our ability to see options.
  • How positive emotions help us move into broaden and build mode.
  • That pain as a motivator falls prey to the law of diminishing returns.
  • Eustress-the role of useful stress.
  • The difference between useful and destructive stress.
  • Thinking about being happier but not taking any action is worse than not thinking about it all.
  • The fixed vs growth mindset.
  • How you can't enjoy the journey when stuck in the fixed mindset and the growth mindset creates the conditions to enjoy the journey.

 

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Links

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Homepage

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Facebook

Emiliya Zhivotovskaya Twitter

Certificate in Positive Psychology created by Emiliya Zhivotovskaya

 

subscribe in itunes

Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:

Kino MacGregor

Strand of Oaks

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Direct download: EmiliyaZhivotovskayaFinal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:43pm EDT

 

New Tree- The One You Feed

 

This week Eric responds to a follow on Twitter.

I posted a tweet the other day that said:

"The best way out of depression is to hate it and not let yourself get used to it"

I got this response from a follower:

"NOT TRUE - you cannot will yourself out of incorrect wiring in the brain. Watch the platitudes!"

In this episode I discuss the role of anger, will and resolve in dealing with depression.

 

Direct download: Anger_and_Will_Final_Mini9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:24pm EDT

 

Jonathan Rottenberg- The One You Feed-

 

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This week we talk to Jonathan Rottenberg

Jonathan Rottenberg is a leading researcher in the area of emotion and psychopathology, where he has focused on major depression. He is author of the  book, The Depths: The Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic. The book is a new look at depression. Depression is discussed as an evolutionary adaptation that has gone wrong in our current culture. Depression is not thought of as a deficiency, or a lack of something. Instead he looks at depression through the lens of mood.

He edited Emotion and Psychopathology: Bridging Affective and Clinical Science, published by the American Psychological Association. Since receiving his PhD degree from Stanford University, he has been at the University of South Florida, where he is an Associate Professor of Psychology and Director of the Mood and Emotion Laboratory. His work has been generously funded by the National Institutes of Mental Health and he has authored over 35 scientific publications, including many in the top journals in psychology and psychiatry. His work has received national and international media coverage, reported in outlets such as Science News, Scientific American, and the The New York Times.

 In This Interview Jonathan and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • Depression as an evolutionary adaptation.
  • Mood theory versus the defect theory of depression.
  • That in our society incidence of depression is growing.
  • The evidence for an evolutionary view of depression.
  • How the purpose of depression is to help us disengage from activities that are not fruitful.
  • How the defect theory of depression has no way to account for the growth of depression.
  • How key human tendencies such as language and goal setting can exacerbate depression.
  • The human tendency to make meaning out of everything and the role this can play in depression.
  • The role of rumination in depression.
  • Persistence of low mood is a key indicator in long term depression.
  • His personal battle with depression.
  • The three things that seed low mood: Events, Temperaments and Routines.
  • The emotional set point theory.
  • How living in a culture so obsessed with happiness is partially responsible for the epidemic of depression.
  • Social media and the role it plays in depression.
  • The inability to tolerate a little bit of depression can create a crisis where someone comes to question the whole path of their life.
  • The goal of evolution is survival, not happinesss.
  • Using medicine for depression as a step on the path.
  • Having higher standards for depression sufferers.
  • Using depression as a bridge to a better life.
  • Three useful approaches to depression: meditation, cognitive therapy and acceptance.
  • How these approaches all turn down the volume on the meaning making machine.
  • Emotional context insensitivity.
  • Depressed people react less to negative stimulus than non-depressed people.
  • Anger can be a useful tool in getting out of depression.
  • Depression can be caused by over attachment to goals, not under attachment.

Jonathan Rottenberg Links

Jonathan Rottenberg Home Page

Buy The Depths on Amazon

Came Out of the Dark Campaign

Jonathan Rotttenberg on Twitter

Jonathan Rottenberg on Facebook

  

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Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:

Kino MacGregor

Strand of Oaks

Mike Scott of the Waterboys

Todd Henry- author of Die Empty

Randy Scott Hyde

Direct download: JonRottenbergFinal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT