The One You Feed - Learn Good Habits to Increase Mindfulness and Happiness and Decrease Anxiety and Depression

bj fogg- the one you feed


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This week we talk to BJ Fogg about changing our behavior

Dr. BJ Fogg directs the Persuasive Tech Lab at Stanford University. A psychologist and innovator, he devotes half of his time to industry projects. His work empowers people to think clearly about the psychology of persuasion — and then to convert those insights into real-world outcomes.

BJ is the creator of the Fogg Behavioral Model, a new model of human behavior change, which guides research and design. Drawing on these principles, his students created Facebook Apps that motivated over 16 million user installations in 10 weeks.

He is the author of Persuasive Technology: Using Computers to Change What We Think and Do, a book that explains how computers can motivate and influence people.  BJ is also the co-editor of Mobile Persuasion, as well as Texting 4 Health.

Fortune Magazine selected BJ Fogg as one of the  “10 New Gurus You Should Know”.

 In This Interview BJ and I Discuss...
  • The One You Feed parable
  • The wolf you pay attention to is the one you feed
  • The two main limits in life: time and attention
  • The Fogg Behavioral Model- Motivation, Ability and Triggers
  • How behavior change is about more than motivation
  • Designing effective behavior change
  • Managing the Ability part of the behavioral model
  • Designing behavior to fit into our every day routines
  • The bigger the change the more motivation you need
  • Why taking baby steps is so important
  • How motivation comes and goes
  • How behaviors get easier to do day after day
  • Building upon small successes
  • That the ability to change behavior is not a character issue
  • Keeping habits going during difficult times
  • Creating good triggers
  • Thinking about behavior change as behavior design
  • Super Habits
  • That triggers need to change with context changes
  • The importance of celebrating small habit changes
  • How emotions create habits

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Direct download: BJ_Fogg.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:31pm EST

James Clear- The One You Feed

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This week we talk to James Clear about building habits 

James Clear is an entrepreneur, weightlifter, and travel photographer. He writes at, where he talks about scientific research and real-world experiences that help you rethink your health and improve your life. His blog gets millions of visitors per year.

 In This Interview James and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • How money can be an addiction that society rewards.
  • How much we over estimate one defining moment versus steady day to day behavior.
  • The aggregation of marginal gains- improve by 1% in everything you do.
  • Small changes can lead to big results.
  • Reduce the Scope, Stick to The Schedule.
  • Not letting your emotions drive your behavior.
  • The difference between professionals and amateurs.
  • It's not the result that matters but the action and habit.
  • The 2 Minute Rule.
  • How willpower often comes after we start, not before.
  • "Start with something so easy you can't say no to it"- Leo Babuta
  • You don't have to be great at the start, you just need to be there.
  • Learning from our failures and seeing it as a data point.
  • Seeing failure as an event, not as part of us.
  • How mentally tough people define themselves by their persistence, not failure.
  • Acquiring more mental toughness or grit.
  • How 21 days to create a habit is a myth.
  • Missing a habit once in awhile is not a big deal.





Direct download: James_Clear_Dec_2016.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:35pm EST

Noah Levine- The One you Feed

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This week on The One You Feed we have Noah Levine.

We were lucky enough to sit down with Noah in the Against the Stream headquarters in Los Angeles. Noah's teachings are core to everything that I have come to believe over the years. I'm really excited to present this interview.

Noah Levine (born 1971) is an American Buddhist teacher and the author of the books Dharma Punx: A Memoir Against the Stream,  and The Heart of The Revolution. As a counselor known for his philosophical alignment with Buddhism and punk ideology, he founded Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society

As a youth, Levine was incarcerated several times. His first book, Dharma Punx, details teenage years filled with drugs, violence, and multiple suicide attempts—choices fuelled by disillusionment with American mainstream culture. His substance abuse started early in life—at age six he began smoking marijuana—and finally ended in a padded detoxification cell in juvenile prison 11 years later. It was in this cell where he hit "an emotional rock bottom" and began his Buddhist practice "out of a place of extreme drug addiction and violence".

He recently started Refuge Recovery which is a community of people who are using the practices of mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness and generosity to heal the pain and suffering that addiction has caused. His new book is titled Refuge Recovery: A Buddhist Path to Recovery from Addiction.

In This Interview Noah and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • How he found Buddhism through his life failures.
  • What "going against the stream" means.
  • That the bad wolf has a stronger tendency in us and wins by default.
  • How our capacity for kindness, generosity, and love have to be cultivated.
  • Why the path of the Buddha is revolutionary.
  • Going against the status quo.
  • How to be in the world but not of it.
  • The distinction between suffering and pain.
  • The difference between craving and desire.
  • Why suffering is not your fault.
  • How the 1st Noble Truth normalizes the experience of suffering.
  • The impermanent nature of all things.
  • How we can never satisfy happiness through sense pleasure.
  • How we layer suffering on top of our pain.





Direct download: Noah_Levine_RE-Issue.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:38pm EST

 Dr. Dan Siegel Full- The One You Feed


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This week we talk to Dr. Dan Siegel

Daniel Siegel, MD is a graduate of Harvard Medical School and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA

He is currently a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, and executive director of theMindsight Institute, an educational center devoted to promoting insight, compassion, and empathy in individuals, families, institutions, and communities.

His books include Mindsight, The Developing Mind and Parenting from the Inside Out 

He has been invited to lecture for the King of Thailand, Pope John Paul II, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Google University, and TEDx.

His latest book is called Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human


In This Interview, Dr. Dan Siegel and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable
  • His new book: Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human
  • That where attention goes, neuro-firing flows and neuro-connection grows in the brain
  • The mind is not only what the brain does, or brain firing
  • The mind is more than merely energy and information flow
  • The mind is a self-organizing, emergent and relational process that is regulating the flow of energy and information both within you and between you and the world
  • The role of differentiating and linking in a healthy mind
  • That an unhealthy mind is too rigid and/or too chaotic
  • The importance of integrating rigidity and chaos in the brain
  • The Connectone Studies
  • The fact that integration of the brain is the best indicator of a person's well-being
  • That when we honor the differences between us and promote linkage between us and others, we foster integration in our brains
  • That people with trauma have impaired integration memory
  • What "mindsight" is and how it differentiates from mindfulness
  • How mindfulness can help foster mindsight and well-being
  • The wheel of awareness
  • That change seems to involve awareness
  • That energy is the movement from possibility to actuality through a series of probabilities


Direct download: Dan_Siegel_Final.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:08pm EST

Brain Pickings Maria Popova The One You Feed

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Our guest today is Maria Popova: a writer, blogger, and critic living Brooklyn, NY.  She is best known for, which features her writing on culture, books, and many other subjects. Brain Pickings is seen by millions of readers every month. Maria’s describes her work as  a human-powered discovery engine for interestingness, a subjective lens on what matters in the world and why, bringing you things you didn’t know you were interested in — until you are….

 In This Interview Maria and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable.
  • The critical importance of kindness.
  • The 7 things she has learned from 7 years of Brain Pickings.
  • Being so impatient that we don't dig deeper to understand peoples motivations.
  • The difference between wisdom and knowledge.
  • How we've become bored with thinking.
  • How we have a biological aversion to being wrong.
  • The uncomfortable luxury of changing our minds.
  • How being open minded requires being open hearted.
  • That as the stakes get higher we are less likely to be willing to change our mind.
  • How most world religions exist to take away the feeling of not knowing.
  • Presence is more important than productivity.
  • How we can see spiritual growth as another thing to mark off on our checklist.
  • Dispelling the illusion of the self.
  • How we are creatures of contradictions.
  • Trying to remove contradictions from our lives is a fools errand.
  • Learning to love and live the questions.
  • How it's silly to try and choose between the body and the soul, both are equally important.
  • Why cat pictures on the internet will not relieve your existential emptiness.
  • The average person spends two hours a day looking at their phone.
  • That habit is how we weave our destiny.
  • Whether we need to get something done every 4 minutes of our lives?
  • Balancing presence and productivity.
  • How it's easier to be a critic than a celebrator.
  • Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.
  • There is no such thing as an overnight success.










Direct download: Maria_Popova.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:24pm EST

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This week on The One You Feed we have Dan Millman. Dan is a former world champion athlete, university coach, martial arts instructor, and college professor as well as a best selling author.

After an intensive, twenty-year spiritual quest, Dan’s teaching found its form as the Peaceful Warrior’s Way, expressed fully in his books and lectures. His work continues to evolve over time, to meet the needs of a changing world.

Dan’s thirteen books, including Way of the Peaceful Warrior, have inspired and informed millions of readers in 29 languages worldwide. The feature film, “Peaceful Warrior,” starring Nick Nolte, was adapted from Dan’s first book, based upon incidents from his life.

In This Interview Dan and I discuss…

The One You Feed parable.
The choice we face every day.
What does window cleaning have to do with spirituality?
How to get moving in the right direction.
How life always comes down to whether or not you take the action.
Starting small and connecting the dots.
That a little of something is better than nothing.
The danger of the all or nothing mentality.
That knowledge alone is not enough.
Life purpose.
A definition of wisdom.
Skillful versus unskillful action.
The Four Purposes of Life.
How life is a perfect school and the lessons get harder if we don’t learn.
The conventional realm and the transcendental realm.
The process of writing a book with his daughter.

Direct download: Dan_Millman.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:57pm EST

Claire hoffman- The One You Feed- Full


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This week we talk to Claire Hoffman

Claire Hoffman works as a magazine writer living in Los Angeles, writing for national magazines, covering culture, religion, celebrity, business and whatever else seems interesting. She was formerly a staff reporter for the Los Angeles Times and a freelance reporter for the New York Times.

She has a masters degree in religion from the University of Chicago, and a masters degree in journalism from Columbia University. She serves on the board of her family foundation, the Goldhirsh Foundation, as well as the Columbia Journalism School. Claire is a native Iowan and has been meditating since she was three years old.

Her new book is called: Greetings from Utopia Park: Surviving a Transcendent Childhood.

In This Interview, Claire Hoffman and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable
  • Her new book: Greeting from Utopia Park: Surviving a Transcendent Childhood.
  • Growing up in a transcendental meditation community
  • How that community changed over time
  • The meditation only trailer park
  • Rationality versus belief
  • How things can be so much more beautiful and strange than logic allows
  • Moving away from the meditation community in her late teens
  • Being tired of the negative cynical voice in her head
  • Revisiting the meditation community many years later
  • Can meditation cause people to levitate?
  • Quieting the cynical doubting mind
  • Is evolution antithetical to happiness?
  • Yogic flying: what it is and what it looks like
  • How she felt about seeing her mom attempt to fly
  • The desire to escape being human, to be divine
  • That part if being who she is is feeling uncomfortable
  • Accepting what it's like to be a person
  • Her evolution as a meditator
  • That she doesn't aspire to being enlightened

Claire Hoffman Links

Direct download: Claire_Hoffman_Final.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:16pm EST

Jesse Browner- Full- The One You Feed


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This week we talk to Jesse Browner

Jesse Browner is the author of the novels The Uncertain Hour and Everything Happens Today. His latest book is the memoir How Did I Get Here: Making Peace with the Road Not Taken.

Browner has also translated books by Jean Cocteau, Paul Eluard and Rainer Maria Rilke, as well as Frédéric Vitoux's award-winning Céline: A Biography. More recently, he translated Matthieu Ricard's Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill and Frédéric Mitterrand's The Bad Life.

His freelance writing includes contributions to Nest magazine, Food & Wine, Gastronomica, New York magazine, The New York Times Book Review, Paris Review,, and others.


In This Interview, Jesse Browner and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable
  • His new book, How Did I Get Here? Making Peace with the Road Not Taken
  • That in our "unlived lives" we are always happier and more fulfilled
  • Making peace with the choices we've made in our lives
  • How to approach the question, "what if" by asking instead, "what is"
  • That the most persistent monkey on an artists back is happiness
  • The belief that happiness whitewashes all the things that makes us unique
  • Bet on the likelihood that you're not a genius and that you can make meaning in your life in other ways than your art
  • Why bet against yourself?
  • To work hard at something you love: you'll be the best you can
  • His life's motto: Work and Love
  • How he's been called "the angry Buddhist" by his children
  • The importance of and remedy in being more deeply involved in the life you have


Direct download: Jesse_Browner_Final_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:21pm EST

Lesley Hazleton Full- The One You Feed


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This week we talk to Lesley Hazleton

Lesley Hazleton  is a British-American author whose work focuses on "the vast and volatile arena in which politics and religion intersect." Her latest book, Agnostic: A Spirited Manifesto, a Publishers Weekly most-anticipated book of spring 2016, was praised by The New York Times as "vital and mischievous" and as "wide-ranging... yet intimately grounded in our human, day-to-day life."

Hazleton previously reported from Jerusalem for Time, and has written on the Middle East for numerous publications including The New York Times, The New York Review of Books, Harper's, The Nation, and The New Republic.

Born in England, she was based in Jerusalem from 1966 to 1979 and in New York City from 1979 to 1992, when she moved to a floating home in Seattle, originally to get her pilot's license, and became a U.S. citizen. She has two degrees in psychology (B.A. Manchester University, M.A. Hebrew University of Jerusalem).

Hazleton has described herself as "a Jew who once seriously considered becoming a rabbi, a former convent schoolgirl who daydreamed about being a nun, an agnostic with a deep sense of religious mystery though no affinity for organized religion"."Everything is paradox," she has said. "The danger is one-dimensional thinking".

In April 2010, she launched The Accidental Theologist, a blog casting "an agnostic eye on religion, politics, and existence." In September 2011, she received The Stranger's Genius Award in Literature and in fall 2012, she was the Inaugural Scholar-in-Residence at Town Hall Seattle.

In This Interview, Lesley Hazleton and I Discuss...

  • The One You Feed parable
  • Her new book, Agnostic: A Spirited Manifesto
  • Why she is a curious agnostic
  • That belief is an emotional attachment
  • That belief is an attempt to establish fact when there is no fact
  • To be a "believer" means you've made up your mind
  • The double meaning of the word "conviction"
  • Why she loves doubt
  • Why binaries concern her
  • That agnostics are often mislabeled as wishy-washy or indecisive
  • How to take joy in our own absurdity
  • That you don't have to believe in a fact because a fact just exists
  • The human tendency to find pattern in anything
  • That perfection is boring



Direct download: Lesley_Hazleton.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:17pm EST